Every relationship will come to an end: either through separation, or through death
Support when you have lost the person you loved
Every relationship will come to an end: either through separation or through death. The loss of a relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life. The more we loved our partner, the more it hurts. Grief is the price for commitment. Or as Erich Fromm said “To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness”
While the vast majority of people manage grief relatively well with their own resources, about 10-20% of people struggle to cope after the loss of a relationship. Many people experience a range of emotions including Sadness, Shock, Loneliness, Yearning, Helplessness, Numbness, Relief, Anxiety, Anger, or Guilt. Equally many people experience confusion, absent -mindedness, pre-occupation with the person lost, a sense of presence, or even holding imaginary conversation with lost person. These experiences are very normal and not a sign that you are going mad. Often the the mere acceptance, that loss of a loved one hurts, and that it will diminish over time, helps to manage one’s grief better.
Loss through Death
Losing a loved one through death is devastating. He or she will never return. Especially after a long relationship if appears as if losing the spouse means we are losing part of ourselves.
Loss through separation
Losing a loved one through separation can bring about a number of different emotions: for some people it is a relief, especially if you are the one who decided to end the relationship. But even then it is often painful to do the final step. It is much more devastating to be the one who is ‘dumped’. It is a big blow to our self-esteem. We have to not only rebuild our life, but also our sense of self.
Grief counselling varies from person to person depended on the situation.
Some of the main tasks of mourning include:
1. Accepting reality of loss
2. Work through the pain of grief
3. Adjusting to the world without the loved one
> incorporating the loss into a changed identity
> finding new goals and purposes for one’s life
4. Moving on (while maintaining a connection with the positive memories)
Working through the pain of grief is probably the most difficult part. Grief counselling can help people to manage the pain better, as it is rarely possible to turn the pain simply off. Acceptance of the loss and the resulting pain often diminishes the struggle and helps people to move on.